Why Grief Coaching?
Going through any kind of change is difficult but there are particular changes that cause us to really struggle in life. This is where grief coaching can help save you time and unnecessary anguish.
As in the saying, “the pain is real, but the (extra) suffering is optional”, so is the case of grief. It hurts to lose something or someone we love. This is undeniable. But sometimes we do make things a lot worse by how we grieve losses and adapt to changes. A grief coach can help you learn how to grief in a healthy manner.
Although we don’t usually talk about changes in life as grief we should!. Grief and adjusting to change takes time and care to process. Grief coaching is a special approach of coaching applied to grief and change. For sure, grief changes us and in ways we don’t expect.
A lot of people don’t realize that what they are experiencing during big changes (even changes that are desirable) is grief. Unfortunately, most people won’t even realize that a huge change for them is causing symptoms of grief. Grief coaching involves so much more than just the death of someone, although this is arguably the hardest grief of all. Let’s go over some of the reasons people grieve, along with signs of grief.
Signs & Symptoms of Grief
- Feeling sad or hopeless
- Changes in appetite
- Changes in sleeping behaviors
- Loss of interest in activities or hobbies
When you are let go or laid off from a job, it can really mess with your overall happiness levels. Not only are you having to deal with the financial aspects of that, but the mental ones can be just as challenging. A lot of people don’t talk about how disheartening it can feel when all of a sudden, you are finding yourself unemployed. And then there is often shame and embarrassment that goes with the ending of a job. Grief coaching can help you work through shame and loss AND start to work towards building a new future.
We’ve all seen the movies and tv shows where a character finds themself without a job suddenly. Images of them sulking around or eating cereal in their robe on the couch at 1pm are all seemingly a joke – but it can be the harsh reality for many people through no fault of their own. And for most people, this is a big shock to the system for which thankfully professional help is available.
Another reason someone may be grieving is after the end of a relationship. Any kind of a relationship. Whether that is a marriage or dating relationship, or the end of a friendship, it can be really emotional for someone to deal with. After all, where this other person played such an important part of your life now they are going through it alone. Breaking up is hard to do. But you know what’s worse?
Not acknowledging that a relationship has ended and staying in denial. This is a recipe for more pain and more suffering and what often becomes what is called a diagnosable adjustment condition. Facing change through grief coaching can provide a helpful structure to safely and fully process your feelings AND make plans for your new future.
A change in envrionment is always a good thing, right? Well, no, not always. No matter if someone moves away 10 minutes or 4 hours, the change in environment can make someone feel like they are grieving. This is also true with the change of a job. Because they are grieving the loss of their old life, or old friends, and routines, even if it is a welcome change. It’s hard to have something change on you when you get so used to the routine of it. And this is perfectly normal (though very painful at times too).
Grief Coaching Is Much More Than Mourning
Starting a new chapter is hard. It doesn’t matter what the reason is. A lot of people will just say something like, “Get over it” or “Move on,” when you are going through a grieving process that doesn’t involve death. Regardless of the reason, grief is accompanied by different stages of grieving.
But when a huge change happens, you can’t just move on easily.
It doesn’t matter why you are grieving, you still deserve to find support as you find a way to move forward through the different stages of grieving. Life coaching focused on getting over grief (grief coaching) can be the very thing that can help you get through this process (again with less extra suffering and more clarity).
Sometimes, grief counseling in traditional talk therapy is not the answer after going through a transition such as job loss or breaking up. While they might be beneficial for some people, it is so geared towards the mourning process that it might fail to address these other types of grief as well as the ‘moving forward’ and ‘planning your future’ part of change.
Working with a life coach who is also experienced with grief coaching, instead, can help you address the complicated emotions you are feeling over the changes going on in your life. More than that, though, a life coach can not only help you work through the emotions but also gives you great feedback on how to best move forward based on your values and dreams Creating tangible steps so that you can find ways to heal in this new chapter of your life – post grief!
Learn more about how life coaching can help you by clicking HERE. Please reach out to me at my Honolulu or London office to set up an online Coaching Test Drive or click to learn more about the life coaching services I offer
I am a Board Certified Coach (BCC Coach), a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Hawaii and an Accredited CBT Therapist and Psychotherapist in the UK with over 16 years of experience. My specialties include Life Coaching, Cognitive Behavior Therapy, Compassion Focused Therapy and Therapy For Gay Men.