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7 Important Ways A Gay Life Coach Is Uniquely Qualified To Help

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1. A Gay Life Coach Gets It

It’s so hard to feel truly heard and seen as a gay man in our society. There’s always some voice out there who just doesn’t get it. Doesn’t get us for who we are. This is where a gay life coach can understand in a way that others can’t because he knows what it’s like to be gay AND thrive!

Straight allies are wonderful and we certainly need them BUT there is no substitute for having personal knowledge of what the joys and challenges are of being gay in society AND how to navigate life in a largely straight world.

Life is hard enough to be understood. Your experience working with a life coach should be different. A gay life coach can understand from the very first meeting. Below are additional reasons why, as a gay man, you should consider seeking out a gay life coach if you are looking for life coaching.

2. A Gay Life Coach Understands Stigma

It’s 2022 and yet many gay men (and all LGBTQ+ folks) are still dealing with stigma, prejudice, and downright unfairness. Yes, the world has come a long way, from even 20 years ago, but it isn’t quite the world we need it to be. And recently it seems like progress made is now in jeopardy of being taken away.

As a gay man, you have a unique set of life experiences that not many people can truly understand. Empathize with? Sure. But to truly get it and understand the struggles we face as gay men, that is something entirely different.

In spite of best intentions (at best) and downright ignorance and hostility (at worst), there are parts of your life that specifically relate to being a man and there are parts of your life that are connected with being gay. Gender and sexual orientation (romantic orientation) are different. A gay life coach understands the difference between gender and sexuality. You won’t have to waste your valuable time and money in explaining the difference.

3. A Gay Life Coach Specializes In Helping Gay Men

Of course friends and loved ones, who are also gay, can understand what it’s like to be gay and that helps a lot. And Life coaches can understand and provide support for helping you change your life as they are trained professionals who specialize in helping people make changes in their lives.

But, the truth is that it is rare to find someone who personally understands what it’s like to be gay AND has the professional skills to help you live a life of meaning and joy, as a gay man in a straight world. This is where a gay life coach can help a lot. He gets it both professionally and personally. This unique perspective can save you lots of time, energy and money in helping you bring it all together sooner, not later.

It seems as if our whole lives are spent trying to appease others. To fit in with the mold and to not rock the boat, so to speak. To never try and shatter that glass ceiling to the floor. A gay life coach lives what he helps you to learn and see.

4. A Gay Life Coach Will Understand Where You Are Coming From More Easily

It is one thing to say that you are LGBTQ Friendly as a therapist or life coach. It is another thing entirely to truly be able to get the life experience you have had so far.

When you work with a life coach, whether they are straight or gay, you want to know that they understand your point of view. That they get why you are feeling stuck and out of sorts and help you find a solution for a way to move forward. A gay life coach understands this perspective because it is his perspective.

It is estimated that over 39% of lgbtq+ adults have been rejected by someone in their life just for being gay. And, they have not felt seen or heard by the people in their life whom they are closest with. A gay life coach will see you as you are in all your beauty.

5. A Gay Life Coach Can Help You Feel Safe From Day One

Chances are that working with a gay life coach will help you feel safe sooner, which allows you to get on with life coaching ASAP. After all, when seeing a professional, it isn’t your job as a gay man to help a straight life coach understand what it’s like to be gay. Working with a gay life coach helps you get on with your life quicker. As a gay life coach I see you and I know how important it is to feel safe and celebrated as a man as a gay person and as a gay man.

I may not know every detail of your life so far, but I can certainly take a pretty accurate guess at what has brought you here. Because I have also been in situations that have caused me to second guess the very core of who I was. And how this second guessing has informed nearly every area of my life UNTIL I healed my past, learned tools to manage the present, got clear about my values, and made a concrete plan for my future. You can do the same thing!

6. A Gay Life Coach Can Help You Navigate Being Gay AND Thriving

The truth is, stereotypes and prejudices still very much exist in this world. And even if they are not expressed on the surface, they are always laying there underneath it. When you are trying to determine your next steps in life, there’s likely quite a few things running through your mind. If
you are looking for a new career or debating over one, you may wonder if a future employer thought or found out you were gay would secretly not hire you over this.

Or that new neighborhood you want to move into? Will the neighbors be accepting of you and your partner / husband? I know how debilitating these types of thoughts can be. As your gay life coach, I not only understand the struggles of moving and a new career, but how being a gay man can impact both of these things. And virtually every other area, as well.

7. A Gay Life Coach Helps You Learn Resiliency As A Gay man

Throughout my life, I’ve had to be resilient and harden against the harshness of the world at certain points. While it may have gone against the core of who I am, sometimes it was my best defense in life. And I don’t want that for you.


I want to be able, more than anything, to help other gay men retain the core of who they are while still building resiliency. I’m in a unique position as a gay life coach and has a passion for helping others realize their truest and best potentials.

I am a Board Certified Coach (BCC Coach), a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in Hawaii and an Accredited CBT Therapist and Psychotherapist in the UK with over 16 years of experience. I specialize in helping gay men learn to manage their emotions, identify their values and thrive. I have received advanced specialist training in Coaching, Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Compassion Focused Therapy. 

If you’re interested in learning more about how gay Life Coaching can help you get unstuck and get living, please reach out to me at my Honolulu or London office to set up an Online Coaching Test Drive. Click to learn more about my life coaching services.

CBT Test Drive

The right approach, tools and fit is a game changer. For this reason, I offer an Initial Test Drive session to see if working together could be a great fit for you. Each Test Drive lasts between 45-60 minutes and takes place within my Video Consulting Room. Based on the latest evidence, science, and my experience, I will aim to make concrete suggestions as to what I think can be most helpful for you.